Crashing into Love Page 12

  He really is too sweet for me to handle. I sip the piping hot liquid and collapse in my chair. This tastes better than any I’ve had in a while. I finish the coffee while sorting through my emails and getting ready for the meeting.

  I have two angry emails from associate account managers to quell, and once I do that, I reprint some reports for the douche in Finance that has asked for the same report three times. I drop it on his desk without saying a word and ignore him as he stares at my ass as I walk away.

  Fifteen minutes before the meeting is to begin, I break into a cold sweat. I don’t know if I can walk into this meeting and face Baker for the first time after he licked me from head to toe, in a room full of grumpy old men.

  “Are you coming?” Chari says, sneaking up on me. I jump and my office chair swivels around.

  “I am.” I smile back at her.

  She gives me her knowing look, even though I try to pretend there is nothing wrong. She sighs against my desk. She looks anything but motherly in her pink and black stripped skirt, white button down and black jacket.

  “Baker?” she guesses.

  A sad sigh escapes me, and I nod slowly. “He bought me coffee. And I drank it even though I’ve been a total witch.” I scoff at myself.

  I say he’s a friend. But a good friend would have answered his text or called, but no, I ignored him, and he still brought me coffee on Monday.

  “Because he is sweet. Now be sweet back and let’s get to work.” She tugs me up from my chair and gives me a hug. Sometimes her tough love comes at the worst time—and this is one of those times. I want to wallow in my misery, not interact with a bunch of people.

  “Okay, okay.” I grab my binder and follow her to the fishbowl.

  It’s a huge room with windows on one side and the other is solid glass. A giant wooden table sits in the center and it’s lined with large leather chairs. Some people are already here, but my preferred location near the door is empty. Most everyone other than Chari and I show up at the last minute.

  Chari squeezes my arm one last time before making her way to her seat on the other side of the table, at the end of the row where the members sit.

  I open my notebook and pretend to read a blank page. My stomach does back flips, ready to receive its gold medal at the championships. I feel clammy. My feet are sweating in my heels and I wring my fingers, chipping the light purple polish on accident.

  A slender finger, belonging to a man with a dusting of hair on the back of it, taps the table next to me. I don’t have to look up to know Baker is standing next to me. I’d know his scent anywhere.

  “Nervous habit?” He’s smiling down at me and I’m stunned into silence, just long enough for him to walk away without hearing my response. I stare after him, watching him strut across the room in his gray suit.

  He takes his seat closer to the front and catty corner from me, where I don’t have to crane my neck to see him. I revel in his scent still swirling around me. He looks amazing, as always.

  Dad doesn’t allow the agenda to get out before the meeting, so only Chari knows what he plans to discuss this time. I’m so lost in my own world, I don’t notice everyone filing in and taking their seats until he stands up and clears his throat.

  The meeting goes by quickly, with a monthly report, new accounts and then highlights of the large cases, like Alexander Lake’s. Everyone’s concerned about the outcome of that one, especially Baker since it’s his case.

  He has enough to worry about, I shouldn’t be adding to it. Is he even thinking about me? I don’t know—

  “Any questions?” my father asks, his booming voice interrupting my thoughts and pulling me out of my head. Looking down, I realize I didn’t take any notes. Way to go, Sutton.

  “If you need notes from the meeting, reach out to Sutton. She’ll get them to you,” he adds. I groan internally because it’s my job. I shut my folder fast so no one see’s that it’s empty.

  I smile innocently, wondering how I’ll get out of this one.

  “Thanks, everyone.” The room clears out quickly.

  I stand up and slowly maneuver around everyone who’s staying to chat. Baker is only a few feet away from me and now is my chance. Or I can continue to ignore him. That would be the easiest. Yes, let’s take the easy route.

  I walk off in the direction of my desk to bullshit these notes and post them on the community email. He probably said the same thing as every meeting, so I’m not really expecting much.

  “I hope you took good notes. I’m counting on them.” There is that velvet voice again.

  I look up from my blank sheet and equally blank screen to see Baker standing in front of me, with his trademark sexy smirk. I allow myself to look him up and down from his fiercely sculpted face, with his pouty lips to his strong arms and chiseled chest. His hair is nicely quaffed, not like it was after I spent the night running my fingers through it.

  There is a zap between us, as I look in his eyes again for the first time since that night. He looks at me the same way and I can’t pull myself away. These new feelings between us are too hard to ignore, so I don’t. I allow my throat to swell and my fingers to clam up. It let the emotion consume me.

  “I’ll get them out shortly,” I lie.

  “Not without this you won’t,” he says with a wink, then reaches into the inner pocket of his suit coat and pulls out a single sheet of notebook paper and hands it to me. “Your blank page is a dead giveaway. Don’t worry, it was more boring than normal.”

  I stare at it for a bit. I can smell his aftershave on his hands. I get dizzy and look down at my desk for a moment before taking it from him. Notes from the meeting. I bite my lip and smile at him.

  “We’ll keep this between us.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper, swallowing the nervous lump in my throat.

  “No problem, I figured you’d be distracted.” I almost laugh in shock.

  “Why is that?” I set the paper down and quickly begin typing it into the template. He waits a few minutes, watching as I do so. I press send and relax knowing my performance report will still be squeaky clean.

  “Because you’re avoiding me.”

  “What does that have to do with . . . ?”

  He shakes his head. “I know, I just don’t know why.” He tries to mask the hurt in his voice, but I hear it. I feel it. And I hate it.

  “Baker,” I start.

  “Come on, Red. It’s me. We’re good friends. Great friends even.” His smile is fake, and I see the sadness on his face. I still smile softly at the implication.

  “I know.”

  He curls his lips and looks around, faking it. Then he licks his lips and stares down at me with expectation.

  “Lunch with me. Now.”

  “Oh?” I gape at his tone.

  He shrugs with a laugh, knowing I’ll do whatever he asks. “Yeah, on me. Unless you’d prefer it be on you?”

  I ignore the innuendo and stand. “Okay, lunch.”

  He escorts me out of the office, hand on the small of my back like always. Except I feel like every part of me he touches is on fire. His hand is hot and heavy. Grazing my ass in the elevator, he scoots closer, ignoring my personal space.

  “No panty lines, I see.” His fingers graze up and down my crack, where my panties would be if I were wearing them. His lips are nibbling my ear and the feeling is magical. My body quakes and I will it not to have an orgasm here—in the office elevator.

  “Nope,” I huff out.

  He steps away from me and I can see his grin. We exit and he takes my hand and leads me past his car to the back exit of the building. He doesn’t say a word until we’re tucked in the back corner of a quiet café.

  “Why did you avoid me all weekend?” He gets right to the heart of the matter.

  “Come on. Don’t let me think I was that bad. You can wound a man for life like that.” He laughs, but it’s obvious to me that he’s concerned about his performance.

  I lose myself in his eyes. Al
lowing myself to drown in the darkest depths.

  “I didn’t mean to. I got really worried about being with . . . um. I don’t know. A relationship,” I mumble out the words and know they don’t make much sense.

  His brow furrows, but his shoulders relax. I notice that he’s been really tense and I feel shitty again.

  “What do you mean? Worried about our friendship?”

  I sigh. “That and us working together. I don’t want to put you in a bad place with my father. You know how weird he is about this kind of stuff. Plus . . .” I stop myself, pressing my lips into a hard line.

  “Plus, what?”

  I huff and allow my shoulders to sink. There is no way I can admit this right now, but looking at Baker, sitting here in front of me, he’s like a truth serum.

  “Plus, my thing with relationships. As you know, I’ve been doing quite a bit of online dating, but haven’t really connected with any of them. It was all fun until you. You scare me.”

  Baker laughs—hard. I blush and feel like an idiot. I want to run away, but he reassures me by grasping my hand and bringing it to his lips. My body heats and I can’t contain it.

  “I feel it too, Sutton. But don’t ignore it. Don’t shut me out. I’m not a bad guy.”

  “I know you’re not.” I murmur.

  Baker’s lips coax mine apart and my bottom lip settles between his as he sucks lightly. It’s enough to make me cross my legs and rub them together, but not enough to make me are forget we are in public. I smile softly as I pull away, our hands entwined together. We smile at each other like fools in love. Or even in lust.

  Why must he be so sexy? I think to myself, getting lost in the moment.

  His suit slopes off his strong shoulders and reinforces the shape of his muscular arms. He looks absolutely edible—his body is a work of art. Art I’d like to devour.

  “Are you staring at me, Red?” His voice is laced with humor and it makes me smile—even larger than before.

  My cheeks heat with a blush because I don’t like people staring at me. Before the online dating, I was always super confident. I could hold my own around anyone—men, women, children, it didn’t matter. I didn’t care whether they liked me or what they thought. But it isn’t like that with him.

  Even before, when we were just friends, I was aware of everything I did—and said—in his presence. Maybe it was because I didn’t care what he thought—or I was trying to trick myself into believing that. Now that I’ve given into my feelings, I’m even more insecure about him seeing the real me. The woman who fears love. Terrified of life after a broken heart. However, I’m trying not to let it get to me and focus on my horoscope and letting go of my insecure need for control.

  “No,” I lie to him. Even though I’m embarrassed, I’d endure it and look at him all day, every day.

  “So why did you really not talk to me? I mean, you could have at least stayed for breakfast,” Baker chides, waving his hands at me and shaking his head in mock disappointment. I laugh softly and he keeps his lips pursed.

  “I should have stayed. I’m sorry.” I am sorry. And mortified at the fact that I snuck out of my own house because of my fear of the morning after.

  “I was looking forward to a bit of snuggling and morning sex.” He lowers his voice, and his eyes are hooded with desire. It makes me sit up straight and try to think about anything but him between my legs.

  “Well, you might get another chance.” I cross and uncross my legs under the table, smiling like he’s the hottest man in the place. No doubt he is.

  “I hope I do. But you’re avoiding the question. I think you’re good at that.” He laughs, but I can hear the unease.

  I realize then, probably for the first time—that I hurt him unintentionally. I don’t know how deep that hurt runs, but he must have been really upset when he woke and realized I wasn’t there.

  “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” The words sound better in my head, and I feel like a high school girl who’s had a fight with her friends. Ugh. I can do better than this. “Did I? Hurt your feelings that is?”

  Baker clears his throat and grinds his jaw as he leans forward on the table. The notches on the side of his jaw come out, the ones that beg to be licked and traced. He glances above my head before returning his gaze to mine.

  “I was worried. About you—whether you were okay. And yeah, I was confused and maybe a little hurt. Mostly, I thought I did something wrong.”

  “No!” My hands fly to him and I clutch his arm, squeezing and not breaking our connection. “Nothing was wrong. It was wonderful—I didn’t want to break the spell you had me under—or tell you how I was feeling. Somehow, I ended up ignoring you instead. I will apologize now because I know it’s somewhat childish, but when I’m all in my feelings, I shut down and hide out, until I’m in a better place emotionally. I struggle with how to have those conversations. You know my father—he didn’t and still doesn’t deal with emotions.”

  Baker nods slowly and I notice his lips are tinged with the slight pink of my lipstick and I reach out to wipe it off and he doesn’t allow me.

  “Okay, a few things . . .” His eyebrows raise in a sexy, inquisitive fashion. “If we’re going to continue, I need to know how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. I want to be your support in all things. Plus, childish isn’t the word I’d choose for you. Emotionally stunted, yes. Childish, not at all.”

  He pauses, and I’m shaking with nerves at what he’s going to say next.

  “That conversation you’re avoiding, we’re going to have it. Now. We aren’t leaving here until we do.” He stops and smirks at me, making me forget what he is even talking about.

  I sigh and let my fingers run over the coffee mug. His hand catches mine and the heat is back again. There is nothing like the feeling of being comfortably warm and content with someone. Baker does that for me, even though I never thought I wanted it or even needed it.

  “I’m just worried about what will happen with us if things go south. I have come to really rely on our friendship and the best part of my day is seeing you and talking to you. The only people I feel comfortable enough to have these conversations with are my girlfriends.” I stop mid thought and try to collect myself. “I just . . . I just don’t know what would happen if this went sideways.”

  A nervous giggle escapes me, and Baker continues holding my hand before prompting me to continue. Baker has this way about him that makes me want to confide in him and trust that he won’t betray me.

  “Honestly, until this moment I was going to try to get out of this. To tell you that because of work and my father, I wasn’t comfortable putting you in a position where you could potentially lose your job.”

  Baker sighs and regards me carefully. I can tell he’s taking in my words and pondering them before he speaks. I swallow a thick lump that’s lodged in my throat and focus on what I see behind his beautiful eyes.

  “Sutton—I’m not worried about my job, or your father. The policy isn’t official, and I don’t care at all about what he may or may not say. Plus, he is your father. If he wants to cut the ties with you, then he’ll have to deal with us. I’ll be right there standing next to you supporting you.”

  “But he’s so unpredictable. Last year he fired the guy for hooking up with his secretary,” I blurt out, my voice heavy with anxiety.

  Baker chuckles when I say that. The whole office was in an uproar about it for a while because the man was fired and not the woman. Though it didn’t take long for her to resign, which was a smart decision on her part.

  “I’m hopeful that he won’t take such drastic measures this time. And I agree, we are great friends, so I’d never mess that up. I would like to take our relationship to the next level and to do that I promise you I will always be there for you.”

  I stare him down and try to keep my jaw from dropping open. “What do you mean?” My voice has dropped to a whisper now.

  “I mean, I appreciate our friendship and I think that�
��s why we will be good together.”

  I sigh inwardly. Why the hell can’t he just take no for an answer. But no! He has to say all the right things. He is pure in the way he cares for me—at least he’s all I need. Everything that I freak out over, he seems to be calm and rational about. Considering I almost lost him over my neurosis, I need to just pull up my big girl panties and take a chance. I’m quite aware that if I don’t take a chance, I probably won’t get another one.

  “I do too.”

  He leans across the table with a sly smile and my knees buckle even though I’m sitting down.

  “I won’t ignore you again. I promise. But . . .”

  “But what?”

  “We still have to be careful.”

  He grins and leans in closer. The warmth of his lips presses into mine. Does he remember we’re in public?

  “I can do careful.” Kiss.

  “Even sneaky.” Kiss.

  He’s so damn sexy. How did I go this long without giving into my feelings for him?

  “How about we sneak off to dinner tomorrow night?” he asks.

  “A date?”

  “Yes, our first date. Are we working backward? Should I withhold sex?”

  “Please no,” I blurt out and we both laugh.

  “I agree.”

  Before I can respond, his lips are on mine again, making stars explode behind my eyes.

  Baker and I go together like peanut butter and jelly. It’s scary how good we are when I allow myself to feel instead of analyzing everything. This feeling is new and so wonderful. I don’t want to mess it up, but I’m afraid.

  Though nothing can stop this kiss from working its magic on me. Nothing will ever compare to the feelings I have for Baker Hayes. Nothing.

  Twenty-Six

  “Ladies. We need to rein it in.” I giggle over my mojito. Charlie is happy with her moscato and McKinley has stayed dry tonight, while Chari is sipping on her sangria.

  “Sorry, it’s just the first time we’ve been able to really geek out the fact that you and Baker are together. Fin.Na.Lly,” Charlie slurs.

  Maybe she’s a bit tipsier than I originally thought.